Idiots Sightings


A woman and her husband arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up their  car, they were told the keys had been locked in it.  They went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door.  As the woman watched from the passenger side, she instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.  ‘Hey,’ she announced to the technician, ‘it’s open!’  His reply: ‘I know.  I already got that side.’

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS


A couple had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told them that one of their problems was that they did not have a ‘large’ enough motor on the opener. They lady thought for a minute, and said that they had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.  He shook his head and said, ‘Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.’ She responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.  He said, ‘NO, it’s not.’ Four is larger than two.’

They  haven’t used Sears repair since.


A father and  daughter went through the McDonald’s take-out window and he gave the clerk a $5 bill.  Their total was $4.25, so he also handed her a quarter.  She said, ‘You gave me too much money.’ he said, ‘Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.  She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked him to repeat his request. he did so, and the manager handed him back the quarter, and said ‘We’re sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.’  The clerk then proceeded to give him back $1 and 75 cents in change. Do not confuse the clerks at McD’s.


A new neighbor in a rural community called the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on her road. The reason: ‘Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don’t think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.’

From Kingman , KS


A girl went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for ‘minimal lettuce.’ he said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

From Kansas City


I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, ‘Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?’  To which I replied, ‘If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?’ He smiled knowingly and nodded, ‘That’s why we ask.’

Happened in Birmingham , Ala.


The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it’s safe to cross the street.  A man  was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of his, who asked if he knew what the buzzer was for. He explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, the co-worker responded, ‘What on earth are blind people doing driving?!’

She’s a probation officer in Wichita , KS


At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear employee who was leaving the company due to ‘downsizing,’ a manager commented cheerfully, ‘This is fun. We should do this more often.’ Not another word was spoken.  Everyone  just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.


A friend told me about a co-worker who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn’t understand why her computer would not turn on.

Identifying information not disclosed because this person is so stupid.


How would you pronounce this child’s name?


Leah??  Lee – A??  Lay – a??  Lei??
No, Nope, NO, & Guess Again.

This child attends a school in Kansas City, Mo. Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong.  It’s pronounced “Ledasha”, When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, “the dash don’t be silent.”  SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce the dash.

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