Jack And Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

Jack, a handsome man, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez at the bar and stared up at the TV as the 10:00 news came on.

The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.
Alexandria looked at Jack and said, “Do you think he’ll jump?”

Jack says, “You know what, I bet he will.” Alexandria replied, “Well, I bet he won’t.” Jack placed $30 on the bar and said, “You’re on!”

Just as she placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death.

She was very upset and handed her $30 to Jack, saying, “Fair’s fair… Here’s your money.”

Jack replied, “I can’t take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o’clock news and knew he would jump.”

Alexandria replies, “I did too; but I didn’t think he’d do it again.”

Jack took the money.

Alexandria went back to work at the US House of Representatives.

Breakfast Advice From A Professor

A professor was telling his early morning class, “I’ve found that the best way to start the day is to exercise for five minutes, take a deep breath of fresh air, and then have a bowl of delicious cereal with raisins and almonds along with a cup of green tea, then finish with a cold shower. After that, I feel rosy all over.”

Quickly thereafter, a sleepy voice from the back of the room said, “Tell us a little more about Rosy.”