Category Archives: Funny Things

Why Men Are So Happy

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  • Your last name stays put.
  •  The garage is all yours.
  •  Wedding plans take care of themselves.
  •  Chocolate is just another snack.
  • You can never be pregnant.
  • You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
  • You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
  • Car mechanics tell you the truth.
  • The world is your urinal.
  • You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
  • You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
  • Wrinkles add character.
  • Wedding dress $5000.  Tux rental-$100.
  • People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.
  • New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
  • One mood all the time.
  • Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
  • You know stuff about tanks.
  • A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
  • You can open all your own jars.
  • You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
  • If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
  • Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.  Two pairs of shoes are more than enough.  You almost never have strap problems in public.
  • You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
  • Everything on your face stays its original color.
  • The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
  • You only have to shave your face and neck.
  • You can play with toys all your life.
  • One wallet and one pair of shoes – one color for all seasons.
  • You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
  • You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket knife.
  • You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
  • You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

The Secret To Longevity

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hattie

 

Interview with 101 year-old Hattie Mae MacDonald of Feague, Kentucky

Reporter: Can you give us some health tips for reaching the age of 101?

Hattie:

  • For better digestion I drink beer.
  • In the case of appetite loss I drink white wine.
  • For low blood pressure I drink Red Wine.
  • In the case of high blood pressure I drink scotch.
  • And when I have a cold I drink Schnapps.

Reporter: When do you drink water?

Hattie: I’ve never been that sick!