The Godfather, His Bookkeeper & His Lawyer

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000.00. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing and would therefore never have to testify in court.

When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about the missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer, who knows sign language.

The Godfather tells the lawyer, “Ask him where the money is.”

The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, “Where’s the money?”

Guido signs back, “I don’t know what you are talking about.” The lawyer tells the Godfather, “He says he doesn’t know what you are talking about.”

The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido’s head and says, “Ask him again or I’ll kill him!”

The lawyer signs to Guido, “He’ll kill you if you don’t tell him.”

Guido trembles and signs back, “OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno’s house.”

The Godfather asks the lawyer, “What did he say?”

The lawyer replies, “He says you don’t have the guts to pull the trigger.”

A Paul Newman Fan’s Hysterical Reaction

Only women of a certain era will fully appreciate this totally true story.

A Michigan woman and her family were vacationing in a small New England town where Paul Newman and his family often visited.

One Sunday morning, the woman got up early to take a long walk and after a brisk five-mile hike, she decided to treat herself to a double-dip chocolate ice cream cone.

She hopped in the car, drove to the center of the village, and went straight to the combination bakery/ice cream parlor. There was only one other patron in the store, Paul Newman who was sitting at the counter having a doughnut and coffee.

The woman’s heart skipped a beat as her eyes made contact with those famous baby-blue eyes. The actor nodded graciously and the star-struck woman smiled demurely.

Pull yourself together! She chides herself. You’re a happily married woman with three children, you’re forty-five years old, not some teenager!

The clerk filled her order and she took the double-dip chocolate ice cream cone in one hand and her change in the other and she went out the door, avoiding even a glance in Paul Newman’s direction.

When she reached her car, she realized that she had a handful of change but her other hand was empty. Where’s my ice cream cone? Did I leave it in the store?

Back into the shop, she went, expecting to see the cone still in the clerk’s hand or a holder on the counter or something! But no ice cream cone was in sight.

With that, she happened to look over at Paul Newman.

His face broke into his familiar, warm, friendly grin and he said to the woman, “You put it in your purse.”

Gabby Hays, Sans Beard

Baby Boomers like me spent many hours before their black and white TVs watching Western during our youth, which prompted a previous blog title, “My Heroes Were Cowboys.”

One of the best cowboy stars’ favorite sidekicks was Gabby Hays, whose appearance and voice made us love him.

What I had never seen before just now was a photo of him without his beard.

I doubt most people would recognize him without his characteristic beard shown in the last photo below.