Shame is Good – Proud is Better

I came across some therapists’ thoughts a while back about shame.

Mostly, I think he is full of crap. He states that “When we feel shame, it’s about who we are and that shame comes from being taught that we are worthless.”

I believe a good dose of shame now and then builds character. We should be ashamed when we do something bad. When I was a kid if one of my parents said they were ashamed of me, I understood it was for something I did, not who I was. If you are raised properly and know the difference between right and wrong, you should be ashamed of something you do that is bad. The key is to learn from it and not do it again.

Of course, praise is even more powerful, when earned. When you tell a child you are proud of them for some accomplishment, they will strive to please you by doing more things to get praise.

Lots of “Proud” along with a little “Shame” now and then is a good thing.

A New School Prayer

Since the Pledge of Allegiance and The Lord’s Prayer are not allowed in most public schools anymore, because the word ‘God’ is mentioned, a kid in Arizona supposedly wrote the prayer shown below. (I can’t confirm the age of the person who actually wrote it, but it is definitely right on target.)

Now I sit me down in school
Where praying is against the rule
For this great nation under God
Finds mention of Him very odd.

If Scripture now the class recites,
It violates the Bill of Rights.
And anytime my head I bow
Becomes a Federal matter now.

Our hair can be purple, orange or green,
That’s no offense; it’s a freedom scene.
The law is specific, the law is precise.
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.

For praying in a public hall
Might offend someone with no faith at all.
In silence alone we must meditate,
 name is prohibited by the state.

We’re allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,
And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks.
They’ve outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible.
To quote the Good Book makes me liable.
We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,
And the ‘unwed daddy,’ our Senior King.
It’s ‘inappropriate’ to teach right from wrong,
We’re taught that such ‘judgments’ do not belong.

We can get our condoms and birth controls,
Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles.
But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,
No word of God must reach this crowd.

It’s scary here I must confess,
When chaos reigns the school’s a mess.
So, Lord, this silent plea I make:
Should I be shot; My soul please take!

Amen !

The Days of Black and White

Red Skelton ended each of his TV programs with “Good night and God bless..”

The Days of Black and White 1Go all the way to the bottom past the pictures. I think you’ll enjoy it.

Whoever wrote this must have been my next door neighbor because it totally described my childhood to a ‘T.’ Hope you enjoy it.

Black and White TV

The Days of Black and White 2 The Days of Black and White 3 The Days of Black and White 4 The Days of Black and White 5 The Days of Black and White 10(Under age 40? You probably won’t understand.)

tv_snowYou could hardly see the TV program for all the snow,
Spread the rabbit ears as far as they go.
Pull a chair up to the TV set,
‘Good Night, David – Good Night, Chet.’
My Mom used to cut chicken, chop eggs and spread mayo on the same cutting board with the same knife and no bleach, but we didn’t seem to get food poisoning.

My Mom used to defrost hamburger on the counter and? I used to eat it raw sometimes, too. Our school sandwiches were wrapped in wax paper in a brown paper bag, not in ice pack coolers, but I can’t remember getting e.coli.

Almost all of us would have rather gone swimming in the lake instead of a pristine pool (talk about boring), no beach closures then.
The term cell phone would have conjured up a phone in a jail cell, and a pager was the school PA system.

We all took gym, not PE…and risked permanent injury with a pair of high top Ked’s (only worn in gym) instead of having cross-training athletic shoes with air cushion soles and built in light reflectors. I can’t recall any injuries but they must have happened because they tell us how much safer we are now.

Flunking gym was not an option… even for stupid kids! I guess PE must be much harder than gym.

Speaking of school, we all said prayers and sang the national anthem, and staying in detention after school caught all sorts of negative attention.

If we got into trouble, it was time for a HACK on the butt from either a principal or our teacher. We weren’t cocky and smart-ass [excuse the expression] to our teachers . . . because of this. There wasn’t any law suits for abuse.

We must have had horribly damaged psyches. What an archaic health system we had then. Remember school nurses?

Ours wore a hat and everything.

The Days of Black and White nurseI thought that I was supposed to accomplish something before I was allowed to be proud of myself.

I just can’t recall how bored we were without computers, Play Station, Nintendo, X-box or 270 digital TV cable stations.

Oh yeah… and where was the Benadryl and sterilization kit when I got that bee sting? I could have been killed!

We played ‘king of the hill’ on piles of gravel left on vacant construction sites, and when we got hurt, Mom pulled out the 48-cent bottle of Mercurochrome (kids liked it better because it didn’t sting like iodine did) and then we got our butt spanked.

Now it’s a trip to the emergency room, followed by a 10-day dose of a $49 bottle of antibiotics, and then Mom calls the attorney to sue the contractor for leaving a horribly vicious pile of gravel where it was such a threat.

We didn’t act up at the neighbor’s house either, because if we did we got our butt spanked there and then we got our butt spanked again when we got home.

The Days of Black and White spankingI recall Donny Reynolds from next door coming over and doing his tricks on the front stoop, just before he fell off.

Little did his Mom know that she could have owned our house.
Instead, she picked him up and swatted him for being such a goof. It was a neighborhood run a muck.

The Days of Black and White 15

To top it off, not a single person I knew had ever been told that they were from a dysfunctional family.

How could we possibly have known that?

We needed to get into group therapy and anger management classes.
We were obviously so duped by so many societal ills, that we didn’t even notice that the entire country wasn’t taking Prozac!

How did we ever survive?

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