- If I had a dollar for every girl who found me unattractive, they’d eventually find me very attractive.
- I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom – until they’re flashing behind you.
- Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.
- Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
- I’m great at multi-tasking: I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
- If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
- Take my advice, I’m not using it.
- Hospitality is the art of making guests feel like they’re at home when you wish they were.
- Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
- Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
- Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.
- He who laughs last thinks slowest.
- Is it wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly?
- Women sometimes make fools of men, but most guys are the do-it-yourself type.
- Men say women should come with an instruction manual, but since when has any man stopped to read the instructions.
- I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.
- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
- I was going to wear my camouflage shirt today, but I couldn’t find it.
- If at first, you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Some 54 years ago when tough guy Clint Eastwood was a mere 36 he starred in the spaghetti western classic, “The Good, The Bad and the Ugly!”
If you are old enough you may remember the film and are enveloped by the story while others reflect on the theme song for that motion picture which was indeed a cut above the rest!
For those who might enjoy seeing how that theme was magnificently performed, this is your lucky day!
Einstein the parrot has always known she was a genius. Now the internet knows it, too.
The African grey parrot, who lives at Zoo Knoxville in Tennesee, turned 30 years old on April 4th, 2017, and to celebrate, Einstein and the zoo’s head trainer, Adam Patterson, showed off the bird’s impressive vocabulary.
The zoo shared a five-minute video of the hilarious exchange online, and it immediately went viral.