The Coyote

CALIFORNIA:

1. Governor Newsom is jogging with his dog along a nature trail when a Coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.
2. Newsom starts to intervene, but stops to reflect upon the movie “Bambi” and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural, so his dog dies.
3. He then calls the animal control department, which captures the coyote and bills the State $200 for disease testing and $500 for relocating it.
4. He then calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 for testing it for diseases.
5. The Governor goes to the hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.
6. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.
7. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a “coyote awareness program” for residents of the area.
8. The State Legislature then spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.
9. The Governor’s security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The State spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training regarding the nature of coyotes.
10. PETA protests the coyote’s relocation and files a $5 million suit against the State.

Florida:

1. Governor DeSantis is jogging with his dog along a nature trail, and a Coyote jumps out and starts to attack his dog.
2. The Governor shoots the coyote before he can do much damage with his State-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge and takes care of the vet bill for his dog on his own.
3. The Buzzards eat the dead coyote.

And that, my friends, is why California’s government is in the red and Florida is not.