Conservatives vs. Liberals

If a conservative doesn’t like guns,
he doesn’t buy one.
If a liberal doesn’t like guns,
he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian,
he doesn’t eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian,
he wants all meat products banned
for everyone.

If a conservative is homosexual,
he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual,
he demands legislated respect.

If a conservative is down-and-out,
he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders who is going
to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host,
he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don’t like
be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer,
he doesn’t go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention
of God and religion silenced.
(Unless it’s a foreign religion, of course!)

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it,
or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands
that the rest of us pay for his.

If a conservative reads this,
he’ll forward a link to this page
so his friends can have a good laugh.
A liberal will not
because he/she is “offended.”