20 Aphorisms
Aphorism: A short, pointed sentence that expresses a wise or clever observation:
- The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
- Money will buy a fine dog but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
- If you don’t have a sense of humor you probably don’t have any sense at all.
- Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
- A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you’re in deep water.
- Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
- Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?
- Stroke a cat and you will have a permanent job.
- No one has more driving ambition than the teenage boy who wants to buy a car.
- There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.
- There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 a.m. – for example, it could be the right number.
- No one ever says “It’s only a game” when their team is winning.
- I’ve reached the age where ‘happy hour’ is a nap.
- Be careful about reading the fine print – there’s no way you’re going to like it.
- The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.
- Do you realize that, in about 40 years, we’ll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?
- Money can’t buy happiness but somehow it’s more comfortable to cry in a Cadillac than in a Ford.
- After 70, if you don’t wake up aching in every joint, you’re probably dead.
- Always be yourself because the people who matter don’t mind and the ones who mind don’t matter.
- Life isn’t tied with a bow but it’s still a gift.
And REMEMBER….”POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS SHOULD BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE OBVIOUS REASON.