How important does a person have to be before
they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
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Why do you have to “put your two cents in”..
But it’s only a “penny for your thoughts”?
Where’s that extra penny going to?
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Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck
wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
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Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
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What disease did cured ham actually have?
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How is it that we put man on the moon
before we figured out it would be a good idea
to put wheels on luggage?
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Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby”
when babies wake up like every two hours?
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If a deaf person has to go to court,
is it still called a hearing?
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Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?
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Why do people pay to go up tall buildings
and then put money in binoculars
to look at things on the ground?
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Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They’re going to see you naked anyway.
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Why is “bra” singular and “panties” plural?
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Why do toasters always have a setting
that burns the toast to a horrible crisp,
which no decent human being would eat?
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If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares,
why is there a stupid song about him?
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Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
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If the professor on Gilligan’s Island
can make a radio out of a coconut,
why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?
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Why does Goofy stand erect
while Pluto remains on all fours?
They’re both dogs!
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If corn oil is made from corn,
and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,
what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons,
does morality come from morons?
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Why Do the Alphabet song
and
Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
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Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
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Why do they call it an asteroid
when it’s outside the hemisphere,
but call it a hemorrhoid
when it’s in your butt?
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Did you ever notice that
when you blow in a dog’s face,
he gets mad at you,
but when you take him for a car ride,
he sticks his head out the window?