Idiots Sightings

IDIOT SIGHTING #1

A woman and her husband arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up their  car, they were told the keys had been locked in it.  They went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door.  As the woman watched from the passenger side, she instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.  ‘Hey,’ she announced to the technician, ‘it’s open!’  His reply: ‘I know.  I already got that side.’

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS

IDIOT SIGHTING #2

A couple had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told them that one of their problems was that they did not have a ‘large’ enough motor on the opener. They lady thought for a minute, and said that they had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.  He shook his head and said, ‘Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.’ She responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.  He said, ‘NO, it’s not.’ Four is larger than two.’

They  haven’t used Sears repair since.

IDIOT SIGHTING #3

A father and  daughter went through the McDonald’s take-out window and he gave the clerk a $5 bill.  Their total was $4.25, so he also handed her a quarter.  She said, ‘You gave me too much money.’ he said, ‘Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.  She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked him to repeat his request. he did so, and the manager handed him back the quarter, and said ‘We’re sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.’  The clerk then proceeded to give him back $1 and 75 cents in change. Do not confuse the clerks at McD’s.

IDIOT SIGHTING #4

A new neighbor in a rural community called the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on her road. The reason: ‘Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don’t think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.’

From Kingman , KS

IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE #5

A girl went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for ‘minimal lettuce.’ he said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

From Kansas City

IDIOT SIGHTING #6

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, ‘Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?’  To which I replied, ‘If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?’ He smiled knowingly and nodded, ‘That’s why we ask.’

Happened in Birmingham , Ala.

IDIOT SIGHTING #7

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it’s safe to cross the street.  A man  was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of his, who asked if he knew what the buzzer was for. He explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, the co-worker responded, ‘What on earth are blind people doing driving?!’

She’s a probation officer in Wichita , KS

IDIOT SIGHTING #8

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear employee who was leaving the company due to ‘downsizing,’ a manager commented cheerfully, ‘This is fun. We should do this more often.’ Not another word was spoken.  Everyone  just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

IDIOT SIGHTING #9

A friend told me about a co-worker who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn’t understand why her computer would not turn on.

Identifying information not disclosed because this person is so stupid.

AND THE BIGGEST IDIOT SIGHTING OF THEM ALL:

How would you pronounce this child’s name?

“Le-a”

Leah??  Lee – A??  Lay – a??  Lei??
No, Nope, NO, & Guess Again.

This child attends a school in Kansas City, Mo. Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong.  It’s pronounced “Ledasha”, When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, “the dash don’t be silent.”  SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce the dash.

Stupid Questions Asked of National Park Rangers

GRAND CANYON:

  • Was this man made?
  • Do you light it up at night?
  • Is the mule train air conditioned?
  • So where are the faces of the presidents?

EVERGLADES NATIONAL PARK:

  • Are the alligators real?
  • Are the baby alligators for sale?
  • Where are all the rides?
  • What time does the 2 o’clock bus leave?

MESA VERDE NATIONAL PARK:

  • Did people build this, or did Indians?
  • Why did they build the ruins so close to the road?
  • Do you know of any undiscovered ruins?
  • What did they worship in the kivas – their own made up religion?
  • Why did the Indians decide to live in Colorado?

CARLSBAD CAVERNS NATIONAL PARK:

  • How much of the cave is underground?
  • So what’s in the unexplored part of the cave?
  • So what is this – just a hole in the ground?

YOSEMITE NATIONAL PARK:

  • Where are the cages for the animals?
  • What time of year do they turn on Yosemite Falls?
  • What happened to the other half of Half Dome?

YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK:

  • Does Old Faithful erupt at night?
  • How do you turn it on?
  • When does the guy who turns it on get to sleep?
  • We had no trouble finding the park entrance but where are the exits?

DENALI NATIONAL PARK:

  • What’s so wonderful about Wonder Lake?
  • How much does Mount McKinley weigh?
  • What time do you feed the bears?
  • How often do you mow the tundra?