Funny Things

A Man With Severe Headaches

A man suffering from severe headaches since his late teens decides to see a doctor.

The doctor promptly begins examining him and says: “Well the good news is I can cure your headaches, the bad news is that it will require castration.

“What?” The man exclaims. “There must be some other way”.

“Unfortunately not sir. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine. If we do not take immediate action, the headches may never subside”.

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He couldn’t concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife. After a succesful operation he was finally headache free for the first time in over 20 years. Despite this, he could not shake the feeling that he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street contemplating his future, he decided he wanted to leave the operaiton in the past and seek a new beginning. Moments later he stumbled upon a men’s clothing store and thought, “That’s what I need, a new suit.”

Upon entering the store, the elderly salesman eyed him quickly and said, “Let’s see, you’re a size 44 long.”Joe laughed and said, “That’s right, how did you know?””Been in the business 60 years!” The salesman saysJoe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the tailor asked, “How about a new shirt?”

Joe thought for a moment but swiftly gave in, “Sure.””Let’s see, 16 and a half neck, 34 sleeve.”Joe was surprised. “How did you know?””Like I said, been in the business 60 years.”

The shirt fit perfectly. As Joe looked at himself in the mirror, the salesman said, “You could use new shoes.”Since Joe was on a roll, he said, “Sure.”The man eyed Joe’s feet and said, “9-1/2E.”Joe was astonished. “Right again! That’s an amazing talent you have there!””Been in the business 60 years” the salesman sys again.

Joe tried on the shoes and they also fit perfectly.As Joe walked comfortably around the shop, the salesman asked, “How about some new underwear?”Joe thought for a second and said, “Why not.”The man stepped back, eyed Joe’s waist and said, “Let’s see, size 36.”Slightly taken aback, Joe laughed. “Finally I’ve got you! I’ve worn a size 32 since I was 18 years old.”

The tailor shook his head. “If you wore a size 32 underwear, it would press your testicles against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.”

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