Descriptive Business Signs

  • Over a Gynecologist’s Office:  “Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”
  • In a Podiatrist’s office: “Time wounds all heels.”
  • On a Septic Tank Truck: “Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels”
  • On a Proctologist’s door: “To expedite your visit please back in.”
  • On a Plumber’s truck: “We repair what your husband fixed.”
  • On another Plumber’s truck: “Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber!”
  • On a Church’s Billboard: “7 days without God makes one weak.”
  • At a Tire Shop: “Invite us to your next blowout.”
  • On an Electrician’s truck: “Let us remove your shorts!”
  • In a Nonsmoking Area: “If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire & take appropriate action.”
  • On a Maternity Room door: “Push. Push. Push.”
  • At an Optometrist’s Office: “If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.”
  • On a Taxidermist’s window: “We really know our stuff.”
  • On a Fence: “Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!”
  • At a Car Dealership: “The best way to get back on your feet – miss a car payment.”
  • Outside a Muffler Shop: “No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”
  • In a Veterinarian’s waiting room: “Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”
  • At the Electric Company: “We would be delighted if you send in your payment. (However, if you don’t, you will be.”)
  • In a Restaurant window: “Don’t stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up.”
  • In the front yard of a Funeral Home: “Drive carefully. We’ll wait.”
  • At a Propane Filling Station: “Thank heaven for little grills.”
  • At a Radiator Shop: “Best place in town to take a leak.”

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