It Snowed Last Night So I Made A Snowman


It Snowed Last Night

  • So when I got back from the gym I made a snowman.
  • Shortly thereafter a feminist passed by and asked me why I didn’t make a snow woman.
  • So, I made a snow woman.
  • Then my feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman’s voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.
  • No too longer after that, the gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.
  • Then the transgender man..woman…person asked why I didn’t just make one snow person with detachable parts.
  • You won’t be surprised to learn that the vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
  • Then I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
  • The Muslim gent across the road demanded the snow woman wear a burqa.
  • Finally the police arrived saying someone had been offended.
  • The feminist neighbor spoke up again saying that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
  • The neighborhood association equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
  • A TV news crew from CBS showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women. I replied “Snowballs” and am now called a perverted sexist.
  • I was on the news as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
  • I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.
    Far-left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be jailed.

Moral:     There is no moral to this story. It is what we have become.

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