I Used Think I Was Just A Regular Guy

I used to think I was just a regular guy, but I was born white, which now, whether I like it or not, makes me a racist & responsible for slavery.

I am a fiscal & moral conservative, which by today’s standards, makes me a fascist because I support myself.

I went to high school, worked my way through college, got a degree and was regularly employed until retirement, but apparently I am here not because I earned it, but because of white priveledge.

I am heterosexual, which according to gay folks, now makes me a homophobe.

I am non-union, which makes me a traitor to the working class & ally of big business.

I am not a Muslim, which now labels me as an infidel.

I believe in the 2nd Amendment, which makes me a member of the vast NRA whacko gun lobby.

I am older than 65 & retired, making me a useless old man who doesn’t understand younger people.

I think & I reason with logic, so I doubt what main stream media tells me, which makes me a reactionary.

I am proud of my heritage & our inclusive American culture, making me a xenophobe.

I value my safety & that of my family, & I appreciate the police & the legal system, making me a right-wing, cop loving extremist.

I believe in hard work, fair play, & fair compensation according to each individual’s merits, which today makes me an anti-socialist.

I believe our system guarantees freedom and rewards of effort – not freedom of subsidies which must make me a borderline sociopath.

I believe in the defense & protection of America for & by all citizens, now making me a militant.

I am proud of our flag, what it stands for, and the many who died to let it fly so I stand & salute during our National Anthem, taking me back where I started – I must be a racist.

Please help me come to terms with the new me because I’m just not sure who I am anymore because i don’t score any intersectionality points!

I thank my friends for sticking with me through these abrupt, new found changes to my thinking!

I just can’t imagine or understand what’s happened to me so quickly!

Funny – it all took place over the last 7 or 8 years!

If all this nonsense wasn’t enough to deal with, I don’t know which restroom to use, and I gotta go, really bad!

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