15 Great Insults


  1. Grasp your ears firmly and remove your head from your ass.

  2. I do not consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat.

  3. People clap when they see you. They clap their hands over their eyes.

  4. You are proof that God has a sense of humor.

  5. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

  6. It doesn’t need it to be Thanksgiving to know you’re sitting next to a turkey.

  7. A sharp tongue is no indication of a keen mind.

  8. You are as useless as rubber lips on a woodpecker.

  9. You have diarrhea of the mouth and constipation of the ideas.

  10. In the land of the witless, you would be king.

  11. I regard you with an indifference bordering on aversion.

  12. You sir, are the reason God created the middle finger.

  13. Sometimes I need what only you can provide, your absence.

  14. You have an inferiority complex, and it is fully justified.

  15. And finally as Churchill once said to a female MP after she accused him of being drunk, “My dear you are ugly, but tomorrow I shall be sober and you will still be ugly.”


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