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Grasp your ears firmly and remove your head from your ass.
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I do not consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat.
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People clap when they see you. They clap their hands over their eyes.
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You are proof that God has a sense of humor.
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If I throw a stick, will you leave?
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It doesn’t need it to be Thanksgiving to know you’re sitting next to a turkey.
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A sharp tongue is no indication of a keen mind.
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You are as useless as rubber lips on a woodpecker.
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You have diarrhea of the mouth and constipation of the ideas.
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In the land of the witless, you would be king.
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I regard you with an indifference bordering on aversion.
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You sir, are the reason God created the middle finger.
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Sometimes I need what only you can provide, your absence.
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You have an inferiority complex, and it is fully justified.
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And finally as Churchill once said to a female MP after she accused him of being drunk, “My dear you are ugly, but tomorrow I shall be sober and you will still be ugly.”